Calaidescope World

Hairless Society

I want to know who started this obsession with hairlessness. I grew up thinking that the gold hair on my arms looked cool against my evenly sunburned skin. Then High School happened. Clean, smooth, white underarms I understand (I cannot explain why they're good, but I kind of understand why). But it had been impressed on Filipino society that hair anywhere, especially on a woman's legs, was bad. Ok, hair on your head is another story, what with the persistent image of the "true Filipina beauty" having long, straight, shiny black hair. But I digress....

(No, really. Is this some bald man's idea of a joke? Why do women like me have to suffer to look good, i.e. white and hairless? Worse, mestisahin. Kayumangi kaya tayo? Brown. Wide noses. A little hairy [mas balbon nga ang tisay, eh]. What happened to personality and intelligence?)

So. "Unwanted Hair". The one that society doesn't want. Hmmmm. How do we get rid of them? Society, I mean. No, the hair.

Those creams that claim to just wash your hair out after you leave the cream on for five to 15 minutes? They're messy and they hardly work. Forget it. The easiest way to get rid of unwanted hair is to shave. And I've "discovered" that the best razor is the Gillette Mach 3 - for men. I'm not kidding. Forget the Gillette Venus for Women. I've never had a better shave than with the Gillette Mach 3. So ladies, pick one up now at your local supermarket and try it on your underarms and legs. It's sooooo smooth! Lather up with Johnson & Johnson's Milk Bath then end your skin care ritual with Body Shop's Olive Body Butter. It's the best!

Ok, so your hair will grow back thick and coarse if you shave, and you have to shave every other day. What's better than shaving? My sisters used to say "plucking", but honeys, it's bad for your skin. It makes your skin stretch. Sure, the hair grows back "finer" (more fine?) and you can go sleeveless for a week. Still...I don't want baggy pits. Plucking only works on the eyebrows - and I recommend that you pluck your eyebrows yourself AFTER having it done by a professional. Just pull out the stray hairs for maintenance. I don't think you want to pluck your legs! Or worse, your pubes!

So what's better than plucking your moustache, underarms and legs? Our local beauty parlor offers two options: threading and waxing. If you have low tolerance for pain, AVOID THREADING! I have seen grown women cry in pain while getting their eyebrows and moustaches threaded. I tried threading for the first time last Friday. OH. MY. GOD. Indian women must have a really high threshold for pain. They invented threading, and I admit that the results are amazing, but good Lord, I cannot - canNOT - take it. I have no idea how my sisters can stand it, too. They swear by threading. It's just not for me. So I get a professional wax.

Does waxing hurt? Hell, yeah! But only the first time you have it done. You actually get used to the pain. Really. And it's so cool how everything comes off in one go. Not like threading where you feel each strand coming off. Eewww. And like plucking, the hairs grow back "fine" and they don't start grow until two to three weeks after your waxing session. And eventually, your hair stops growing back ("eventually", like, after x number of years). Although I wonder how women who get a Brazilian wax can take it.

In conclusion? Dears, save yourselves the pain. Either shave for the rest of your life or save up on laser treatment. Yes, it hurts both you and your wallet to look good. Suck it up. We feel good when we look good, so invest in YOU. Although growing a personality and a brain goes a long way, too. Now let's see if thick eyebrows a la Brooke Shields circa 1984 will make a come back. Many of us won't mind. Just don't expect moustaches, hairy armpits, and hairy legs (all on women) to ever be in fashion. Good luck to us.

posted by Calai @ 9:17 PM